ttseco's unconscious (Seriously. He fainted.)

Wait, that Tumblarity thing, the lower the better, right?

Parable

Hearken; Behold, there went out a sower to sow:

And it came to pass, as he sowed, an angel came upon him and asked if he wants to be in a parable.

And the sower said unto him, thou hath his phone number, speaketh with my agent.

In bed with Mallory Weiss.

Mallory was the cutest girl in school. I was secretly in love with her until high school but she was in love with that clod Pericles Papadimitrakopoulos. But then one day we… hang on a minute! That’s not a real memory. Damn you painkillers.

On March 1st I was admitted to a hospital after vomiting blood. I apologized for the carpet but they just wouldn’t let me go.

It was a 13 day long nightmare and I’m not entirely convinced it’s over. Things would get worse and then worse as if someone was sucking out hope from my body and replacing it with an intravenous solution.

I was diagnosed with Mallory-Weiss syndrome. A one centimeter tear between the stomach and the esophagus caused by one single violent vomit. That is so rare that I had three interns assigned with asking me repeatedly the same question: are you sure you’re not a heavy drinker? (Mallory-Weiss is common amongst alcoholics only because they tend to vomit more often).

As cauterization and adrenaline seemed to have no effect and since my doctors had no way of knowing if there were other ulcers further in the stomach they decided to operate. I now have a huge vertical scar and a potentially endless source of jokes for the beach.

I was not allowed to drink water or eat for days. Suddenly water is nectar. I haven’t tried drinking nectar yet.

The reason I’m writing this is first of all for you to know what kept me from tweeting.

Most importantly though I wanted to tell you something that I’m afraid will sound ridiculously trite but, well, here it goes:

We’re just a whim of the elements. We are too fragile to even let ourselves realize how fragile we are. Our minds are an elaborate set of nerves struggling to record the world amongst distortions, fear and usually erroneous patterns of thinking. Not a reliable means to grasp reality.

I don’t think life has a meaning and I can’t think of a reason it should. We just make up our next moves like the snail paves the road it slides on. Meanwhile we can have some laughs. Love. Enjoy art, food and ideas and admire the diversity of a compelling universe.

There’s nothing outside of humanity. It’s just us. Let’s start thinking it’s just us. We’re on our own. Nobody will care about us, nobody will help us unless we love and help ourselves, our family, our friends.

I just said I can’t be sure about anything but when I had general anaesthesia the lights went off. The place was empty. No immortal soul hovering no nothing. I can’t be sure about that but why should I even assume there is something when it’s hiding so well it fringes to nonexistence?

Life is too short to assume there’s an extension to it. Let’s not let the afterlife ruin our life. Enjoy every minute as if it’s your last because one day it will be.

Thanks everyone for the DMs on Twitter and I promise to resume like nothing happened. I would only expect more hospital jokes.

Theo Tsecouras


P.S.
1.
I wrote this as soon as I could before my inner filters kicked in. Otherwise I wouldn’t have written anything at all. (Not a bad option I can hear you think)
2.
Surprisingly, General Anaesthesia is not related to Princess Anastasia. Go figure.

25 randomly uninteresting things about me

So here go 25 things about me in chronological order.

1. I was born at a very early age in what I was later going to recognize as Athens, Greece. One of the ugliest cities in the northern hemisphere.
2. My dad was born in Cairo, Egypt and my mom in Istanbul, Turkey. They both worked for airline companies. My first word was “Passport”.
3. I started talking when I was 10 months old (my wife being the genius that she is beats me by 4 months). I loved watching ads on the TV and I knew all the logos by heart. Even at that age, I was doomed.
4. I started playing the guitar in 1981 and never stopped since. Conveniently, I have a deaf cat.
5. I can solve the Rubik’s Cube. All sizes. My newest is a 7x7x7 cube. Pure excitement. Oh, and you know what’s even more exciting? It’s made in Greece!
6. I work as an advertising copywriter since 2001. I write mostly funny ads and it’s something I like to do. It also seems I’m quite successful at it.
7. I have written three theatrical plays so far. One for each of my readers.
8. I used to write for a Greek Mac magazine. A funny column of course.
9. My first mac was an LCIII in 1993 but that’s another meme.
10. Being a mac user in Greece in 1993 was like being a gay atheist catholic priest. I wore black clothes and pink underwear. No, not really. I was just part of a very tiny -yet secretly cool- minority. I’m so bad at analogies I’m like a… erm…
11. I studied political science at Panteion University in Athens and then went to England for an MA in Ideology and Discourse Analysis.
12. That year at the University of Essex (‘97-‘98) was one of the best years of my life.
13. The MA combined Linguistics, Psychoanalysis, Politics and Philosophy. I studied Derrida, Lacan, Barthes, Wittgenstein and other names I like to drop occasionally to pretend I’m intellectual. Wittgenstein.
14. I served on the Greek Army for 23 months as an officer. It was such a monumental waste of time I applied for a time refund.
15. During my service I became interested in the New Testament (At the MA my dissertation was on the Old Testament.) I studied the life of Jesus with passion (no pun intended). I tried to find the truth behind the words and eventually I became an atheist.
16. I hate driving but I’m such a control freak that I hate it even more when somebody else drives.
17. About a year ago I had some really terrifying panic attacks so now I’m seeing a shrink and getting some mild anti depressants. This is surprising for me given the fact that I’ve always been annoyingly happy-go-lucky, extra positive and really calm. Anyhow. Seeing a shrink provides me with lots of twitter material.
18. Twitter: I never participated actively in an internet community, apart from a BBS back in the internet bronze age in 1995. When I joined Facebook I started writing witty statuses just to entertain my friends. Twitter came later when I was trying to find a way to archive my statuses. Even then it took me a while to move directly to Twitter and it was during that time that I found favrd.
19. I’m so much addicted to favrd that I try not to write tweets late at night because I tend to wake up to check their progress.
20. I’m not online all the time so I can’t really follow all the memes or answer my @replies. Not to mention that I am asleep too early for US tweeps. Sorry if I appear rude.
21. Normally if you follow me on Twitter I’ll follow you back. Every now and then I’ll unfollow some people. And then I’ll regret it.
22. I’m also addicted to RSS feeds. In fact I am the reason they are called feeds. They keep me alive.
23. I do not smoke but I occasionally enjoy inhaling Helium. I find it gives my voice a deep manly tone.
24. I am happily married with the girl that writes the missing pets column at Eleftherotypia (a popular Greek newspaper. She’s also a Creative Director at an ad agency. My wife, not the paper.) Therefore we have lots of cats and dogs and I’m not allowed to kill spiders.
25. I’m never serious. No, wait. Now I am.

That was it. I tried to make it funny, otherwise I can’t find a reason why anyone would like to read it. I really hope I didn’t bore you. It was very hard for me to squeeze out all my narcissism and find a way to talk about myself. I’m used to advertising other people’s products.

It will take me a while to get used to Tumblr.

Three years max.

My favorite Soundtrack

My favorite movie theme is Sheltering Sky:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFNfEIUQGso

No, wait, it’s Damage:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RnoSqMBQ9Go

Now I’m confused.

I have no idea what goes on here

Let me explore alittle bit and I’ll be right back.